To Not Be a Mother

To Not Be a Mother is an ongoing series of photographs, presented as diptychs and single images combining self portraiture, found images and symbolic objects. 

I always thought – without a doubt – I would become a mother. I’d assumed that it would be the most important role of my life. Turning towards 40, single, with no savings and a nomadic lifestyle makes having a child difficult. Add on the reality that I struggle with chronic asthma and anxiety, which I wouldn’t wish to pass down, and suddenly the story “of course I'll have children” begins to collapse.

This project is an exploration into that ambiguous loss and grief.